From Rags to Riches, or How I Found My Clít

The guy I had hoped would be the answer to all my Tinder dreams once asked me, “How do you express yourself creatively?”. I answered “Storytelling". In my opinion, good storytelling should include the following: a good voice, dynamic eyebrows, and passion. But most importantly you need good stories. For better or for worse, I have collected a lot of really good stories. 

I mostly use these tales for laughs. Like when I got hit by a car jaywalking to meet a guy for a hook up. And how he asked me to get on top despite my sprained knee. And how I did it. Or when Jeremie liked 20 of my crush’s Instagram photos from my phone and ruined my chance at true love. There’s also that time I accidentally posted a nude photo publicly instead of sending it privately. 

Now that I think about it, a lot of these stories originate from a place of panic and pain. Over time they have taught me lessons (like don’t tell Jer NOT to like said crush’s pics or he will DEFINITELY do that) and ultimately can be shared for all to enjoy. None reflect that better than the time I hit restart on my life. 

If you want to hear more about my tale of a spunky former super-Christian who was beaten down by bad sex and a repressive patriarchal upbringing, how I rose from the ashes to discover where my clit was ACTUALLY located and to finally be pronounced a freak in the sack (while also cultivating my feminist ideals) then you should take a listen. Jeremie also sings, so it’s kind of a 2 for 1 deal. 

The thing I enjoy the most about Turn Me On is how surprising and wonderful people are. When someone embraces who they are and what they like, it is really a beautiful thing. When they go out and ask what they want, I am constantly inspired. To the people of Halifax and beyond, thank you for being freaky. I love you. 


Jeremie Saunders