Involuntarily Celibate

I was a closeted late bloomer. I still am. Only one person knows I became sexually active at 36. Well, now Jeremie and Bryde, too. And you. Wait! No! One baffled doctor at a walk-in clinic where, at the age of 35, I asked for a round of HPV vaccines. She handled the news with great aplomb, bless her heart.

Errata: I said in the podcast that it’s embarrassing to not have had sex by a certain age. That’s not quite right. I should have said, “I was embarrassed” instead of “it’s embarrassing.” That’s not the same thing.


I may be an outlier, but I know I’m not alone. I’m positive of this. I’m sure some people listening and reading this now were later (much later!) becoming sexually active, or haven’t yet and are feeling a lot of emotions about it. I hear you, friends. I hear you. I don’t have advice for you, because everyone’s Venn diagram is so different, but I hope you’re well, and safe, and surrounded by kindness.

Also, think about this: if I wanted children, it might have forced my hand. I know the math of how pregnancy happens. I’ve seen the documentary films.

Love, Cate

Jeremie Saunders