The Year Of My Vagina
Like many people, I grew up with the typical things society drilled in my head: marry a person of the opposite sex, have children, live a monogamous life, shame the sluts yada yada yada...and I can’t forget that good ol’ Catholic guilt. I never liked the box built by society and Catholicism, but I didn’t know how to get out of it. It took time, moving out of a small town, and a few experiences (i.e. an amazing university course) for me to have the courage to think for myself, to challenge what I’ve been told my whole life, and to acknowledge that society sometimes sucks and I don’t want to conform to it. I began to think “This is MY body, this is MY life, and I’m not letting anyone or anything (religion) tell me what I can or can not do with it!” I said fuck it. Fuck society, fuck norms, and fuck living by shitty rules in a book. I slowly began to break out of that box, but still I was not fully letting go of the safety net of societal norms. It’s just easier that way, right? But is it really worth submitting to what society says is “right” and to allow it to dictate my life? Is it worth ignoring what is best for me so I don’t make other people uncomfortable? No, it’s not.
I am a very sexual person and I absolutely love sex. That being said, I have built a wall between orgasms and sexual partners. I allowed negative comments, pressures, and expectations to come before my own sexual pleasure and satisfaction. I was frustrated with not having another person bring me to orgasm and I was desperate to break that wall, so I wrote a brain boner! (See episode 29). I’ve tried to work through my mental blocks with no success, then one day I unexpectedly had a vaginal orgasm and I realized that it was and is possible for others to make me cum! When I removed the end goal of having an orgasm and was fully in the moment of a great making fuck session, that is when I came. I’d be lying if I said I’m never lost in my head again. It does happen, just not all the time anymore. Many people have made me cum and I achieved what I thought was impossible for me...multiple orgasms!
Getting over that no orgasming hurdle, going against the norm, and putting myself (and my vagina and clit) first has been a pivotal point in my life, especially my sexual life. I have never felt so empowered and my confidence has sky rocketed! I am not okay living in a nicely wrapped box. I’m bisexual, I’m not interested in monogamy, I don’t know if I want to get married, I don’t know if I want kids, I’m a slut, I fuck who I want and am not caught up with judgments of others, and that’s all perfectly okay...in fact, it’s great! It’s golden! It feels right and it feels natural. I realized the things I regret most in life are the things I did not do and I can’t help but think of all the missed opportunities. I don’t want to miss any more so I am now living a life doing what and who I want.
I’ve been asked a few times to come on the podcast but I kept saying, “I have nothing to talk about” which I felt was true. However, with my 2018 empowerment I now think differently. Hot damn! I do have stuff to talk about! It’s the year of my vagina!...the year FOR my vagina!