The Flood Gates Have Opened - NSFW


Photography by: Helena Darling - @the_woods_witch


Does expressing sexuality mean being sexualized? The internet persona I put out into the universe promotes body positivity, self-worth & sexuality. I strive to showcase the beauty in my flaws, the confidence in my curves, and to express my feelings and emotions in a genuine way. I like taking photos to inspire women-and myself- to embrace ourselves wholeheartedly. 

For this persona, this means sometimes keeping guarded in regards to past experiences. I feel incredibly fortunate to have been given the opportunity to share a personal side of me that I never have before. I'm a proud believer in self-love, which is a constant journey of discovery and acceptance. I'm allowing myself to feel this vulnerability, which is a big step for my own growth. 

Due to a traumatic experience in my younger years, I suffer with a tremendous amount of anxiety. There weren't many places to turn for help when I was a teen, so I bottled it up. Ten years later, I am now experiencing the side effects. Sexual triggers, insecurities & uncomfortable experiences that have pushed me to explore myself on a deeper level. 

Have you every heard the expression, 'wow it feels like I'm hitting a wall,' or felt so much pain during sex you couldn't go on? Well I have, numerous times! Thanks to some guidance from a friend, who looked up my symptoms and with a further visit to my doctor, I learned that I suffer from Situational Vaginismus. 


When I experience anxiety, a triggered memory, or discomfort with my sexual partner, my vagina denies them entrance. My body has learned to expect or anticipate pain upon penetration, so my powerful pelvic muscles contract to protect against any sexual pain. Not knowing what was happening, I felt so ashamed, embarrassed, and confused. Why did this keep happening? I thought there was something wrong with me! You'd actually be surprised how many women out there suffer with this and have no idea. If men can sell Viagra for erectile dysfunction, why can't a there be an alternative for women to promote awareness? 

I hope others out there can relate, and I hope I can inspire other people who've experienced abuse and who may be suffering from PTSD. I really hope that sharing my story will open the door for someone else who may be going through a similar experience. 

There have been many trials and errors on this path of sexual healing but with the help of my friends, a therapist, and self education, I'm learning so much about who I am. There is so much power in communication, foreplay & confidence. My desire to be choked, spanked, and whipped has been achieved and I can and WILL feel empowered with the right set of skills and dedication! 


xxx Elle

Jeremie Saunders