Sex is a funny thing.


Sex is a funny thing.

I’m no expert. Yeah, my inner slut is alive and well. I honestly don’t think anyone’s personal development can truly be called complete until they’ve had a slutty phase. I am apt to say mine lasted a few years but deep down I know it never ended. It goes into hibernation sometimes but blossoms again and again when I least expect it.

I’m not a professional. I don’t have years of in depth experience to offer. I was a virgin til I was 19, and I’ll be honest, the first few years I was sexually active it was more about gratifying a need for validation than anything else. I’m not sure I was great in bed those first few years; I was legitimately afraid of putting a dick in my mouth for the longest time because I was just so sure I didn’t know what I was doing. What if I bite it? Why do I keep gagging? What do dicks even want? IS IT SUPPOSED TO LOOK LIKE THAT?!?!

I haven’t fucked THAT many people. My current number is 43. Though for some people that number is huge. I know people my age who have had sex with maybe 10 people. But I also know people my age who have had up to 100 partners. All the same, I’ve got some good stories; I keep a list with names and ratings of anyone I’ve ever slept with. That might seem weird too, but it’s half bookkeeping, half conquest log. And it’s good to be able to look back and see how my tastes have changed.

 The List

The List

I’m kind of vanilla. I’ve dabbled in rope play, I’ve had a couple of threesomes, had some of what I would definitely classify as ‘weird’ sed, but I’ve never had sex outdoors. Or in a car for that matter. Or in a kitchen, or on a chair, or in a bathtub... And a lot of that doesn’t really appeal to me. If you actually want to know, probably my absolute favorite kind of sex is straight up missionary. Even better if it’s with someone I actually have feelings for. Nothing reliably gets my rocks off like a solid missionary fuck with some softcore dominance and a good cuddle after. That’s my steak and potatoes.

With all that in mind, I was kind of surprised that Bryde and Jer wanted me to come chat on their podcast. I’m just your average, middle of the road, sex-positive slut. I don’t know what I have to offer to this situation except a handful of stories about hilarious hookups. In the context of some of the other interviews you’ll hear, mine feels like a comedy routine to me.

And I’ll admit, I was anxious as fuck that I wouldn’t be sexy enough, that my fantasies wouldn’t be interesting, that I wouldn’t have anything at all to say. Or that people I know would hear it and think differently of me, would suddenly realize that under my cool, caring exterior lurked a dick-sucking, pussy-licking, sexy text-sending maniac. But then when it came down to it I was just talking about my favorite thing in the world, crackin’ jokes, and humblebragging about my sexual legacy. It was like any other evening chilling with my friends, and when it comes down to it, all my good friends already know about my slutty side. I assume it’s part of why they love me, because it’s a huge part of who I am.

So sit back, relax, and enjoy the chronicles of my moderately interesting sex life. Cause I sure enjoyed it in the making.

Jeremie Saunders