Mommy's Gettin' Busy
There are few times in my life that I feel like I have had the right words with me at the right time, and this conversation was no exception. Despite Bryde and Jeremie being such welcoming, warm and easy going people, I was still so nervous during this recording that I could barely remember all the topics I wanted to unpack in this episode, let alone properly articulate all the thoughts that I was having.
Here's a brief collection of my thoughts that I undoubtedly could have explained better had I not been too occupied laughing about the alternate reality where they call penises spaghetti.
Body Positivity ABC
a-Praising behaviour and talents- putting the value on qualities a person has instead of their appearance helps take away the pressure on their body/looks being what they measure importance on. Instead it is their kindness/leadership/listening/etc that they will find to be important traits in themselves and those they surround themselves with.
b-Challenge assumptions of gender stereotypes- this could be for clothes/toys/pronouns for objects (i.e. all trunks are "he" and all stuffed animals are "she"). Be open and ready to call out stereotypes that they might be exposed to in the cartoons they watch and the toys they play with. I like to make a point to call attention to differences and celebrate how cool it is that we don't all look/talk/act the same.
c-Model positive behaviour yourself- seeing you feuling your body with food that makes you feel good, and being proud and happy in your own skin sets an example that your babes won't be able to ignore.
1-Give them opportunities to say yes and no throughout their day and respect the choice they make- now this is all within the confines of making sure they are safe and healthy. Have them pick the clothes they want to wear, the toys they want to play with, what foods they want to eat this helps give the opportunity for you to validate that you heard their voice and what they said mattered.
2-Teaching empathy and emotions- being able to recognize that they have had am impact on how someone feels is so important when cultivating consent culture in your home. Encourage them to imagine how it would feel if the roles were reversed.
3-Ask permission- teach them to ask permission when they do things, ask their permission when you want to do things. This ain't the last piece of cake in the fridge we're talking about, when it comes to consent ask for permission, not forgiveness!
Sex is what got you in this whole parenting mess in the first place and now it's getting pushed to the bottom of the literal "to do" list. What's up with that?! Now I think we can all agree that your all nighter bone-down parties are now few and far between, but that doesn't mean that a good old fashion quicky in the hallway/bathroom/kitchen/laundry room (seriously just make it happen wherever you can folks) can't be just as fun! You had needs before you were a parent and those needs don't just magically disappear just because you are now in charge of raising a tiny human.
You've earned this, you deserve this, you need this, now touch your dang bits together!
PS you are going to get caught/set off a toys sound effects/slip on a train and fall down and seriously injure your knee right before you have to leave for a large family gathering, it's all just a part of the beautiful process. Have a good story ready, be able to laugh at yourself, and for the love of god have an up to date first aid kit handy.
Thanks again for the lovely chat Bryde & Jeremie!
hugs & high fives
(only if you want them)